The Shoe Bank

Most banks are open 9-5, but the Shoe Bank is open 24/7, allowing full time, continuous deposits.  But were not talking about normal deposits.. oh no, were talking about deposits only from pathetic losers who have useless existences.  They look forward to their daily and weekly visits to the shoe bank, it’s the highlight of their lives!  The thought of dropping that huge check, or stuffing that cash neatly into the luxurious toe of the designer shoe makes them shiver with delight and exhilaration.  Want more meaning in your life?  Open an account at the shoe bank, limited accounts available, subject only to ‘loser’ status, conditions apply.  Non refundable deposits, minimum opening fee of $100!!