Good News Bad News

Today, I (your boss) call you into my office for a “little chat”. Feeling anxious, you hesitantly knock on my office door, sheepishly enter and sit down. I tell you that I have good news and bad news.

First with the good news… I am pleased to tell you that you have worked here long enough to quality for a promotion with a substantial salary increase from next week. Lucky you!

Now for the bad news…. I notice you have been staring inappropriately at me and some of your female colleagues. You deny it of course. I quickly put you to the test by teasing you with my long legs and perfect body. You are so pathetic you cannot hide your weakness. I make notes on your reactions… I have decided that you get too much pleasure looking at me in the workplace and that you no longer deserve a promotion. Infact you deserve a pay cut! From now on your existing salary will be reduced by 50% and I will take the other 50% plus your salary increase and add it straight into my bank account. Your job is now office minion. Now you know why there are so many dumb males, doing such mundane jobs under my employ! Now get to work and make yourself useful, it’s not all fun and games around here!